Take Care

This is how I take care of myself

I like sand between my toes
That somehow knows
Where to go

But it forgets to stay behind
And fills my socks with grittiness

Warm, warm, warm
But not too warm
And moisturizer if it’s peach and therefore not greasy

Self care sounds like a supermarket buggy
That you use to help yourself to
Beans
And soft cheese
And flowers
And sometimes cat food
To care for your self and your cat

I don’t know how self-care works
It’s not a switch I can turn off
It’s not a room I can step outside of
It’s not an old photograph
It’s not a book that someone else wrote

So I don’t understand it
But it doesn’t seem to matter

Holding Hands

You wouldn’t hold my hand
I sensed – Not saw – Your
Creased Forehead
Deduced from the set of your Jaw
Saw
The nape of your
Neck and the bravery of your shoulders
That refused to cry

I was wrong

So unforgivable
That my memory
Has saved me from the details

We walked beside each other
And realized that the pace was wrong
I had a limp
Caused by the lost counterweight
Of your hand in mine

I crooked a finger in your belt loop
Swung in time with your angry hips

Unconvincingly you tried
To brush me away
Instead our palms nested in each other
Followed through
Lock-step
In-stride

Our bodies didn’t hide
But forced a grudging confession
Or our mutual need

And therefore
Perhaps
Our love

Bring Sadness to My Side

Bring sadness to my side
Sing through the night and to the dawn
Of my people’s tears
Of my people’s home – My people’s home

But this loss of mine
Is of my love, my best belov’d
My song is a country without end - A sea - A land / And…
Such is fate, such is fate
Such is fate, such is fate, such is fate

All that I miss – Is this
My Lady and my Life
She is the dream that is my own
Where I am born – Where I am born

Bring sadness to my side
To where I guard my soul
To deep within where lies my hope – That dares to air / If…
Such is fate, such is fate
Such is fate, such is fate, such is fate

What You Should Know

There’s something that you should know already
But you don’t
And it doesn’t matter what it is
It matters that you don’t know

And you should know

And I’ve long debated all the
Good in should
And should I tell
Need I tell
And well… for me
I’ve gone through tough

And we’ve both lived long enough
Without the burden of full disclosure
What’s the point of more exposure
It won’t provide a drop of peace
Or spiritual composure

As we both age to middle-age
Sage supposedly

And there’s a growing list
Of things you mis-remember
Or dis-remember
Of our common past

So much that I now accept
The stories that you share as true
Acknowledge glories
For races that you say I’ve run
And even won

I’m less committed to those absolutes of truth
Discovered all those shouldn’t - shoulds
Are just a self indulgent luxury of youth

But then
Of course
You know that already

Life is (not) Like a Circus

Let me say that life is like a circus

It is filled with smells

That you half

Recognize - Smells of other species' sex

Lions' half-tamed dominance

The must of elephants' intellectual

Submission

And are those flesh-colored leotards

Or flesh-colored…flesh

And the contortionist's doing something naughty

And clowns aren't funny

Sometimes sad

Mostly just creepy

And life ends too soon

And has harsh notes

And it's sexist

In an out of date way

And the food is not filling

And the clowns are creepy

And there's too much shit

And not enough sawdust

It is a place of cruelty

To animals but…

Those most cruelly used

Those most cynically exploited

Are the spectators

Fleeced

In each town

Short-changed

Like a herd of wildebeest

Except the cattle stands still

And the lions go from town to town

Run away, run away

Run away

And join the circus